Bonds Beyond Beauty
If you are lucky, you’ve found the one. He or she listens sympathetically, understands the craziness of your life and wants nothing more than for you to be happy. They make you laugh, and a few hours around them can lift your spirits and boost your confidence. They know your secrets – including the real color of your hair. Yes, the bond between hair stylist and their clients is a special one.
Hours in the chair can mean uninterrupted vent session and story sharing. “As stylists we have the undivided attention of our clients for the duration of their appointments,” Hair Stylist Rebecca Kalaitzidis explained. “That is anywhere from 30 minutes to two and a half hours. That’s more focused attention than I have with a lot of my friends and family.” So, it makes sense that often our hair stylists start to feel like family. “You see their kids grow up and become parents with new pics to show every six weeks,” Kalaitzidis who owns Achelous Salon in Boston said. “Sometimes, you see someone twice a week for a blowout and your final appointment together is in hospice the day before they pass and are so humbled by the yearly update from their widower as their grandchildren grow.”
In a society of go, go, go – there is something so classic and old world of having the opportunity to sit and chat; even those who loath small talk may find their voices slowly coming to life. It could be hair stylists’ uncanny ability to know the questions to ask (or not ask), and to sense when someone is having a rough day, allowing this intuition to direct their interactions. They’re nimble chameleons, switching seamlessly from rowdy cheerleader to silent sounding board or down-to-earth therapist, depending on what you need that day. They have impact on us that goes beyond our hair care. “Let’s face it, we have all wanted to cut bangs after a breakup,” Kalaitzidis said. “What is the reason for that? Is it the bangs or is it the 15 minutes with your stylist?”
In honor of the beautiful bonds that form while you are getting beautified, we’re featuring three special hairstylist/client relationships and exploring the meaningful connections made between blow-outs and brushing.
Lisa + Joseph
35 Years
Lisa Hines met Joseph Palombi when he started doing her hair nearly 35 years ago. It didn’t take long before the pair were meeting up outside the salon as they became workout buddies, hitting up the local gym regularly. “Lisa was the quintessential gym rat, offering support and spot, and she was very much in demand for spot by the big boys,” Joseph, 64, recalled. Over the years, they spent time together between workouts and appointments – always chatting effortlessly and appreciating different perspectives. “We would speak about my kids, and he would offer suggestions on how I should do something a bit unconventional with them,” Lisa said. “He was giving me pause as it didn’t come from a person raising kids, but a humorous place. He also shares some stories of strange interactions that flip my little world upside down.”
The two have supported each other through many milestones. When Lisa’s daughter got married twelve years ago, Joseph was there to do her hair and didn’t miss a beat when he learned he also had to fit in the bride’s sister as a last-minute addition. When Joseph’s beloved dog passed away, Lisa was there to share fun memories and keep his spirit alive, as she had gotten to know him (even bringing over toys regularly) over the years. Joseph joked that if he wants to know the dirt on someone, he goes to Lisa. And she recalled a favorite funny line Joseph’s used over the years when it comes to a tardy client: With roots like that, you shouldn’t be late.” While Lisa’s thick and curly hair needs were taken care of when she met Joseph (“He’s a miracle worker who created a style I haven’t swayed from.”), the benefits of the relationship go far beyond. Both shared what they loved and admired about each other.
Lisa on Joseph:
Joseph is so kind-hearted – he and I think alike. He is empathetic in a little bit of a twisted (but good) way, and I learn from him. I remember he returned a wallet to my neighbor once. Most would think that is the right thing to do, I think it is the admirable thing to do. After an appointment, I always feel good and happy. I love our time together. Who would have thought that someone in the gym could end up being a special part of your life for so long? We treat each other respectfully and fill our time with laughter. My favorite thing about our relationship is that is so easy – we have a symbiotic relationship. Oh, and he makes me look great!
Joseph on Lisa:
What I like most about Lisa is her courage, her openness, and fearlessness of new and different situations, but most of all, her sense of humor. Lisa lights up any room that she enters...not in a histrionic way; she merely gets the party rolling. In social situations she searches out the shy retiring souls and allows them the spotlight that they would normally never have found. The single best lesson that I had learned from Lisa is that there is no problem that cannot be overcome. I love that she always has time for me. After having seen Lisa, I feel special...that is her greatest gift and why people respond to her. She can make you feel as though you are the only person in the room. I believe that I am a better person for knowing Lisa, by virtue of following (or trying to follow) her example. The world is a better place because she walked it. How did I ever get so lucky?
Rebecca + Sondra
15 Years
Salon: Achelous Salon in Boston
When Rebecca Kalaitzidis and Sondra Aresty met nearly 15 years ago, Rebecca was pregnant with her first child. She immediately noticed how kind and caring Sondra was, always asking how she was feeling when they saw each other at a satellite salon she managed in Sondra’s office. It became the regular routine for Sondra to pop into the salon on her way out of work. Then, when Sondra became a mom, the two further bonded, developing a full-fledged friendship that has survived the years, life transitions (and hair styles) along the way. “She’s become like a sister to me,” Sondra said. “We have been through a lot of life’s stuff together. Marriage, babies, divorce for me now, life changes, and through it all she’s been a steadfast friend.” The pair bonded over everything from a favorite 90s band to a shared appreciation for real talk. “It is very rare to find someone that will agree to disagree and have tough conversations with,” Rebecca said. “Or to even ask questions that you are too embarrassed to ask anyone else.”
When Sondra was having a particularly tough day while going through a divorce, Rebecca instinctually knew just what she needed. “She invited me into the salon for wine and sushi and a dance party to a new singer we’re both into,” Sondra recalled. “Sometimes all it takes is that friend that gets where you are in that moment.” From becoming moms to new babies and watching their kids grow to celebrating their 40th birthdays together with many, many appointments spliced in between, their friendship evolved into something that will outlast any hair style or trend, as the devotion and admiration they feel for each other will never go out of style.
Rebecca on Sondra:
She is the kindest soul that always takes care of others. I am so proud that she has finally decided that she needs to be taken care of too. I have seen her quit her job and follow her dreams- and now divorce her husband and finally be with her childhood crush. I would say that she has shown me that things that are worth it aren’t always easy, but bravery, courage and one person you trust with your life are the things that will get you through. I think what I love the most is that it was totally unexpected and that no matter what is going on, we both have an open, honest ear and heart to lend. When we hang out, I’m like a teenager again. We usually end up at dinner after so it’s giddy and girly talk. Completely happy and relaxed.
Sondra on Rebecca:
I love how honest and forthright Rebecca is - she doesn’t bullshit me and tells me how she sees things. We may not always agree and we’re both ok with that! Generally, though, it’s a total love-fest whenever we spend time together. She’s taught me to be even more open minded than I was before meeting her. She’s definitely opened my eyes about people and love. I love how open and honest we can be with each other. I’m not afraid to tell her my deep dark secrets, and I think she feels the same. After we see each other, it’s like I got to hang out with one of my best friends- and my hair looks awesome in addition!
Mary + Antoinette
13 years
Hair Studio Amel in Dedham
It is true that Antoinette could never get an appointment with Mary. She was usually fully booked, so Antoinette took what she could get, but then learned that Mary had gone out on her own: She did some detective work to find out where, discovered where she was renting a chair and never looked back. While Mary grew her business, ultimately going on to open her salon, Antoinette was also building a business. They bonded over the growing pains, excitement, and stress, feeling it was an experience that could only truly be appreciated by fellow solo entrepreneurs trying to do what they love on their terms and survive. They’d bounce business ideas off each other and commiserate about the impossible load of trying to “do it all.” While Antoinette was a steady presence in Mary’s chair, Mary also supported Antoinette’s endeavors – coming to her classes, training with her and when she made a career transition to consulting, Mary was her first official client.
“Mary accepts me for who I am,” Antoinette said. “Sometimes, I come in a hot mess, having to work while I’m there and she always reassures me. Then, other times she provides me a quiet place to have a few deep breaths and is a calm sounding board for me. Sometimes, we’ll get philosophical and into family dynamics or dig into what it means to be a mother and woman today. I treasure our conversations and leave feeling inspired or silly or just at peace. For someone like me, that’s huge.”
Antoinette marvels at how time passes and the phases they’ve seen each other through. From pregnancy to parents of teenagers and bootstrapping to business owners, she feels they’ve grown up together in a sense. In 2023, Mary (not one to take time for herself or travel) made it a point to go to a retreat Antoinette hosted and step outside of her comfort zone – something that meant the world to Antoinette. “She’s just quietly showed up for me in all these ways over the years,” she said. There have been plenty of moments of humor as well – one such memory being shortly after the pandemic when things were still a little iffy and Antoinette visited Mary’s front lawn for a masked root touch-up. “We looked insane,” she recalled.
Antoinette on Mary
Mary may be the most hard-working woman I know – and has a true heart of gold. She gives you no-nonsense advice while also being reassuring and empathetic. I’ve literally cried laughing in her salon and just cried. She’s the best kind of hair stylist and best kind of friend. I always feel like a new person when I leave and have an added pep to my step (and bounce to my hair) I treasure how our relationship has grown over the years and I’m so proud of her and everything she’s achieved.