Do you have too much stuff? Is clutter and your to-do list overwhelming your life? Do you want to get organized and on track?
I can’t help.
This is not that blog post. It’s a blog post about what to do when you are avoiding those types of terrible things.
So, here’s what you do. First, I need to take you back to 2004. When I had just graduated college and had a really difficult life of living on a beach house in Marshfield with my now-husband and friends. I did work fulltime, but I also spent a lot of time on the beach. Alone. With US Weekly. In a two-piece bathing suit. I even had a full lounge chair. Why sit when you can lay? It was glorious soft, mesh material – not too heavy. My husband would carry that baby down over the rocky jetty for me and bring me iced coffee before he went to run errands. We would likely see each other in a few hours to take a nap. I know, I know. I hate her, too.
But my point is that perusing US Weekly every week was very important. There was an especially compelling celebrity feature – “What’s In My Bag.” Truth be told – I did have to check and it see if this still exists (it does) because it’s been a while (almost 11 years. My olderst is almost 11) since I’ve examined the contents of a celebrity bag. You know – things like silky eye masks for planes, their own brands of lip gloss or their favorite book they happen to happen carry everywhere. Hey, I am not hating. I would spend my abundant free time reading about this type of thing.
The other night, my husband asked my son to grab keys from my purse. I watched as he gingerly put hand inside the back and winced. “I think there is something sticky in here,” he said, eyeing me judgmentally.
“Mama’s purse is always scary,” my husband responded quickly.
No. They. Didn’t.
Listen, I am not ashamed, boys. I will spill those contents and show the world. Or the few Mama Beasts who read this blog. In fact, instead of doing your laundry, I’m going to break it down US WEEKLY style.
Antoinette Hemphill: What’s in My Bag?
Antoinette Hemphill is a mom, Mama Beast, and keeping her kids alive is generally her top priority. This includes making sure there’s always snacks and electronics when they’re on the go. Or whenever, really. Here’s what else she totes in her Baggallini.
I always have some kind of melted or frozen candy (season dependent, but always disgusting) in the bottom of my bag. It could be my kids asked me to hold something and I tried not to eat it, or they didn’t like something, so you obviously stick partially chewed candy back in your mother’s bag. Sometimes, it can be salty! Like these sunflower seeds from..baseball season? Yes, it’s March. So, last baseball season. Correct.
One of a Pair
Mitten, sock (in this specific case, it’s an Elf on the Shelf sock), air bud. If it comes in a pair, I always have one in my bag. I also find it helpful to always have one part of a charger in there, too.
Basically a celeb
I always carry my Beauty Counter lip gloss in “poppy.” And one day, I am going to wear it. And a sensible 100-calorie snack pack. That is absolutely not just what’s leftover.
I like to carry little trinkets representing fun memories – a ticket stub to How the Grinch Stole Christmas (this was the weekend I almost broke a rib coughing and everyone got strep! Ah, the holidays) and a tampon with a cardboard applicator, fresh out of the bathroom from Great Wolf Lodge. If your period is going to surprise you, it’s going to be when you are at Great Wolf Lodge in a Tankini and half your family has the stomach bug. (Don’t ever stay in room 404).
See above memories (or read my story)
Hello Brilliant Ideas
I always have cute pens ready for when exciting ideas or fun class plans strike me. Just kidding! This is really odd, actually. I have no idea why there are pens. They’re likely “borrowed.” But I do keep brilliant ideas in my head.
So, if you’re looking to avoid being productive, I definitely recommend dumping out those bags and exploring the glory that is peek into your life . If it feels a little sticky and disjointed – I would argue you are living it right. And to my slightly horrified 2004 beach sloth self – please note there were some cute sunglasses in there.
What’s in YOUR bag?